A record of our shows from posts
We’ve performed at many great venues, including Tristan Bates Theatre, The Union Theatre, The Shaw Theatre, Hoopla Impro, The Old Red Lion, The Etcetra Theatre and The Lion and the Unicorn. Here is a record of shows we’ve performed.
|19 Dec, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||Have I Got PPI?|
It’s Christmas Eve in a call centre in the North West of England. Love blossoms between Anil and Gordon, and Debbie becomes Team Leader.
Star salesperson Anil Hassapinda has caught the eye of the boss Gordon thanks to his relaxed, amiable telephone manner and high sales figures.
Elsewhere in the office Tracy and Debbie have fun with the Xerox machine, and Debbie dreams of becoming Team Leader.
Love blossoms between Gordon and Anil, they agree to spend Christmas Day together. Gordon’s traditionalist family are initially reticent to accept their son’s new partner but Anil’s disarmingly charming voice wins them over.
Fast forward to New Year’s Eve, after some coaching from Anil, the office temps Tracy and Debbie receive their promotions and in an unprecedented move the phone lines are closed for the day for Gordon and Anil to wed in the office.
|28 Nov, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||That’s Not Really Jam|
The local Women’s Institute isn’t quite what it seems. The women ensnare a local Asda worker as “fresh blood” in this Halloween-themed show.
|21 Nov, 2015||Reading Fringe Festival||Super Mario Land|
A journey through the Mushroom Kingdom.
Something is seriously rotten in the 8-Bit Kingdom. Miss Toad keeps pixelating, Mario is dead, and Luigi is bankrupting the family plumbing business.
On the other side of the screen, two teenage hackers (The Nintendo Brothers) sit in their room infecting Mario Land with unpleasant viruses. Their parents enlist them into the army to get them out of the house, but they escape into the game instead.
Luigi convinces Bowser to ‘Soften His Shell’ and they put aside their ancient grudges to save the kingdom and Miss Toad. On the journey love blossoms between Luigi and Bowser and they soon discover that ‘Love is Forever, When it’s Between Two Men’.
The Nintendo Brothers manage to debug the mainframe before returning to their bedroom. A happy reunion with their parents ensues. The boys promise to abandon their insular gaming ways. They cast aside their gamepads and promise to ‘Put Their Fingers on Each Other’ instead.
|30 Oct, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||That’s Not Really Jam|
The local Women’s Institute isn’t quite what it seems. The women ensnare a local Asda worker as ‘fresh blood’ in this Halloween-themed show.
|29 Sep, 2015||Giggle Loop||Chocka-locka Inka-winka
In a coffee shop inside an ancient Mayan temple, love begins to blossom between two Australian baristas on their gap year. But their laissez faire attitude to their work enrages the Coffee Gods, who threatened to unleash another Amochalypse if sales don’t improve.
|26 Sep, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||F*** You, We’re Rich
Weary of the amoral antics of his peers, Ed Miliband decides to leave Oxford University (and the Bullingdon Club) to pursue a more noble life.
He manages to persuade his buddy Boris Johnson to join him and they cycle off on one of Boris’ blue bikes.
Across town in a country pub, the locals are cleaning up after one of the BC’s legendary farmyard parties. Inconvenienced by the mess but happy with the wad of cash they have been left to cover the damage.
Meanwhile, on the road Ed convinces Boris to become a red, romance blossoms and the boys declare their love for each other. They move to the USA and are warmly welcomed at the White House by Barack and Michelle Obama. They convince the President to change the Stars and Stripes to a Rainbow flag.
Eventually, Boris’s past catches up with him when Lord Rothschild arrives in America and tries to persuade him to return to England and launch an austerity programme. However Ed proposes and begs to be the First Lady to Boris’ POTUS. Boris agrees to merge red with blue to make purple and they live happily ever after.
|9 Sep, 2015||The Spread Eagle, Croydon||Julian Assange is imprisoned in the Ecuador Embassy. David Cameron, who is having difficulty dealing with all his paperwork, assists.|
|22 August, 2015||The Nursery, Edinburgh||Car Park Vignettes
|19 June, 2015||Music Box Pirate Cabaret, London Bridge||Polly Pocket — Love In Plastic
An adventure in the miniature world.
|23 May, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club||Death Star’s Night Off
In the torture room of the Death Star, love is created. Which is beautiful, even when the romantic couple get propelled into outer space for their crimes.
|15 May, 2015||Music Box Cabaret, London Bridge||Catnip
It’s in 1996, and David and Colin are living a miserable existence in the sweatshop-like conditions of Frankie’s Filofax Emporium, when a Health & Safety Inspector arrives.
She cheers their spirits with several nineties references including Um Bungo, Catchphrase, Euro 96 and the Fresh Prince. Eventually the factory is bought out by a rival and they all move to the seaside.
|2 May, 2015||RH and Friends, London Bridge||Jeff
After a trip to Costa Coffee on their break, librarians Jeff and Diana share a seat. Unsure of their feelings for each other they sing “Two People on a Chair, What Does it Mean?”.
|24 April, 2015||Improfest UK, Tristan Bates Theatre||Sudan
A story of discovering emotion on Planet Vulcan.
Two young citizens of Planet Vulcan are unsure what the strange and illogical neurological events are that happen when they spend time together.
Their parents decide to separate them before their behaviour becomes too un-Vulcan and send them away on different planetary missions.
Landing in the desert of Sudan, Vastros the male Vulcan, gets drafted in to help build a well by Henry and Celia two philanthropists who work for Tesco’s overseas aid division.
The next day Henry and Celia bid an emotional farewell to Vastros, they have become fond of him and view him like the child they never had. Vastros witness the water coming out of their faces and experiences a hitherto unknown neural transmission, sadness.
Back on the planet Vulcan after some time away Vastros and Vastra are reunited, their new experience has changed them irrevocably. They process this to mean that they are in love and should get married.
Vastra gives her father the scarf she has knitted for him. This act of love convinces the Vulcan elder the illogical union between his daughter and Vastros should be endorsed. He blesses their marriage by singing “Live Long and Prosper”.
|17 April, 2015||Music Box Cabaret, London Bridge||Basildon
Our fifth birthday show. A triumph of the status quo over right wing politics in Hell. In Basildon.
Due to an abundance of love and purity in the pits of hell, a large quantity of emigrants were evading eternity in the underworld. Emigrants who cast aside the bubbling abyss in favour of salvation in heaven.
Spotting a gap in the market for disillusioned demons, Nigel Farage decides to run for Prime Minister of Hell.
His main policy is stopping the dirty heavenly emigrants. He decides to start his own political movement Satan’s Palace Independence Party (SPIP).
An unfortunate series of events followed, which included: false promises of legs for Taurus, pure love between two ex-demons, a failed bid for election from Plaid Demonru, a cameo from Jesus H Christ himself and the gates of hell opening up in Basildon.
Using his poetic nous and a lyrical barrage, Lucifer easily defeats Farage (who can only rhyme immigration with immigration).
Satan wins a landslide majority in the Hell General Election and the underworld rises up and swallows the earth. The moral of the story: everyone should have voted Green.
|4 April, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||It’s Getting Hot In Here
A sauna is so low on finances that the accountant is asked to leave. However, just as failure is looking like the only option, a local vicar rediscovers religion through the spirits of the sauna steam.
|8 March, 2015||Bristol Improv Theatre||Window to the Soul
A couple get engaged when one saves the other from drowning. They travel to see Mr Thompson, the old swimming teacher, to thank him.
|7 March, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||Little Shop of Speedos
A tale of love transcending age.
Samantha the shop assistant is busy chatting to Mr Bruce, an elderly patron of the store, while he tries on a variety of bathers.
Her foster father Samuel grows frustrated by the small talk and Mr Bruce’s presence in the store. He feels the old man is not ‘on brand’. He urges his daughter to hurry the octogenarian out of the store.
Meanwhile in LA, two Speedo models, Brad and Toby, are in the middle of a photoshoot. They discuss what makes a good model and decide “It’s All About The Buns”.
Samuel visits Mr Bruce in his nursing home, he wheels him outside on his Heelies™ and tries to persuade him to take his lonely daughter out on a date. Mr Bruce is resilient at first, his late wife playing on his mind, but Samuel sings to him “No Man is an Island”.
Back at the shop Samuel tries to convince his daughter that she should date Mr Bruce. They go on a date to the local French bistro. They sing a song about how they both just want some companionship in their lives and are not interested in a physical romance.
Back at the studio Brad and Toby ditch their photographer as they are sick of being objectified.
Once they are alone they realise that because they look so similar, they are in fact destined to be together&emdash;”A Narcissists Dream”.
|3 March, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||My Fair Wheelchair
Featuring a man who dared to dream big, a magic wendy house and a winning penalty at Twickenham.
|7 February, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||Tijuana Sunrise
A Mexican bar owner meets old enemies who threaten the future of her bar. Help comes from an unexpected direction when a lonely boy arrives, distraught from the departure of his adored donkey.
|23 January, 2015||Music Box Cabaret, London Bridge||A good natured community of mermaids has their deep sea paradise disrupted by their new neighbour, who seems to enjoy torture rather too much.|
|10 January, 2015||Hoopla Improv Comedy Club, London Bridge||Frosty
Featuring a love story between two research scientists, two warring Charm Sparkles, a friendship between a street-talking bear and a snowman and a whole lot of Antarctica. Remember folks: never lie face down in the snow and breathe in.
|10 December, 2014||Giggle Loop Presents…, London Bridge||Fillings
In a giant’s mouth, a bacterium strives to be the first to live 21 days. She therefore travels to the big molars where she’ll be safe from harm. She doesn’t expect to fall in love along the way.The giant, meanwhile, is annoyed with his bad breath so under the advice of his friends he chews tin foil. This creates a spark with his fillings, which kills the bacteria in his mouth. One of the unlucky ones is our protagonist’s love.
As he dies they sing a song of love and mitosis—’We should have split but we stayed’. Our protagonist escapes to live out her days beneath a canine and discovers that really everyone is the same and therefore interchangeable.
|4 December, 2014||The Dogstar, Brixton||I Don’t Think You’re Ready For This Jelly
A story of Haribo, and Jamie Oliver.
On the outskirts of Hamburg, the owners of the Häribo factory (brothers Hans and Heinz Häribo) are troubled by the downwardly spiralling financial forecast for the year ahead. The work of celebrity chef Jamie Oliver has reached Germany and parents have stopped stuffing their children’s lunchboxes with sweets, favouring instead organic brätwurst and wholesome vegetables.
They hatch a plan to travel to England to ensnare Mr Oliver and convince him to promote their brand.Meanwhile, in Brixton, Fritzella (the Haribo siblings’ estranged daughter) is lamenting her impoverished life with her Uncle Joe. New immigration laws have meant she has been sent back to school to study with eleven year olds, fourteen years her junior. The school is rough and they dream of a better live North of the river “If We Lived in Islington”.The Häribo brothers arrive in Brixton, dressed in bowler hats to blend in with the natives, whereupon their plans have taken a sinister turn. They have read in the Metro newspaper that Jamie Oliver will be making a public appearance at their long lost daughter’s school that very afternoon. They decide his brand endorsement would not be sufficient and that they “Must Kill the Naked Chef”.
Over at Bob Marley High School, Fritzella welcomes Jamie Oliver into her classroom. She offers him an array of gelatinous candy which he rejects and trys to force feed her raw aubergine and carrot sticks. Eventually using her feminine charms to woo him into submission, Fritzella force feeds Jamie cocaine laced Tangfastics.
Euphoric with Class A drugs and Preservatives Jamie agrees to go back to Fritzella’s bed chamber for a ‘Pukkafukka’.
Erstwhile in Fritzella’s bed chamber, Uncle Hans lies in wait with his lethal broken cane, ready to take Jamie’s life. Suddenly Uncle Joe enters the room, looking for his adoptive daughter and is aghast to see his estranged brother hiding underneath the bed. Hans bribes his brother to cooperate, promising him the bijou house in Islington he has oft dreamt about.
The brothers hide as Fritzella brings Jamie into her bedroom, sits him down and does a sexy dance. Writhing in ‘Tangfastic Orgasmic’ pleasure Jamie denounces healthy eating and is about to declare his love for Fritzella when…. He is brutally stabbed to death by Hans Häribo.
The remaining members of the Häribo dynasty sing a gleeful oompah number in their native German, celebrating their grisly victory, ‘Vassen, Tassen Die Tanzën’. Das heir wass die endern.
|21 November, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Frozen
Set inside a fridge, this was the love story between Sally Semi Skimmed and Ulrich the UHT.
Realising there was an escape from their cold and tawdry existence inside the Smeg 900100, Sally, Ulrich and Pierre (the pasteurised organic French milk bottle) hatch an escape plan.
Meanwhile in the kitchen, Barbara and Arthur engage in some food fetish role play with the remaining contents of the fridge. With the couple taking the bacon upstairs, the trio of milks make a desperate bid for freedom. Pierre escapes to live a life of servitude at Cafe Marmalade but Sally and Ulrich are caught mid-runner by fridge owner Arthur.
They negotiate to keep their lives by offering to let Barbara and Arthur keep their expectant milk baby once they curdle and expire.
|5 Nov, 2014||The Spread Eagle, Croydon||The Wrong WHSmith
An elderly couple introduce some excitement into their lives by buying the Guardian instead of the Mail—setting off a series of events which culminates in setting up their own branch of WHSmith. At home.
|1 Nov, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Tricky Mickey
A married couple work at EuroDisney. They can’t escape. It’s strange, what happens at EuroDisney…
|1 Oct, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||The Dancing Dames of Dublin
Featuring Irish Dancing, Music Box-style. This show was followed by our first ever Music Box Jam!
|19 Sep, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Poundland
A Poundland employee gets exceptionally irritated with customers asking him the price of items. A rollercoaster of a story featuring the Lizzes (who live inside pound coins), and the song “You can’t put a price on dreams, but if you could, it would be a pound.”
|6 Sep, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Don’t Touch The Exhibit
The Maths Club enjoys the Science Museum, as the After-School Club keeps them safe from the bullies. But when Mr Patterson, an evangelical fundamentalist Christian teacher visits, it falls to their club to defend science against fundamentalism. They succeed, and in the process they appreciate what it means to be a Nerd.
|28 June, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Suds
In a prison shower we meet John, a mild-mannered inmate who smuggles goods into prison via his bum. From mobile phones, to dogs, to antipasti cold meat platters there is no end to what John’s Mary-Poppins-bag like bum is capable of sneaking in. Whilst locked behind bars he meets another inmate, a sadistic, creepy clown with a penchant for arson. The two escape prison, but not before two guards, eager to please their boss, are in hot pursuit. But can they avoid recapture with the Wizard of Wandsworth Common aiding the guards?
|31 May, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Spirit Level
It’s the first voyage of the Titanic, and all is well. The captain has brought his daughter along for Bring Your Daughter To Work Day, the two Irish cleaners are cleaning the depths of the ship as usual, and the ship’s parrot is especially chirpy. Unfortunately, there’s a group of icebergs who aren’t too happy about having their peace interrupted by ocean liners.
|24 May, 2014||Espontâneo 2014, Sintra, Portugal||The Mistake
Sharon and Brian are getting married, but the wedding is a shambles. The bridesmaids are bickering about their roles, there’s a pigeon stuck in the dress, the groom’s ex-girlfriend has stolen the rings, the mother of the bride won’t come, and the father is drunk. The pair, with help from their wedding party and a helpful hit-man work to turn their wedding around.
Sharon is preparing for her wedding with her chief and co-chief bridesmaids. Unhappy with her low status, co-chief bridesmaid Clair is given the unenviable task for gathering the bride’s three-mile dress train (the longer the train, the longer the marriage!) and ridding the gown of squatting pigeons.
While her friends bicker about their titles, Sharon questions whether her fiancée Brian really is the right man for her. Brian is also getting ready but unfortunately his Best Man has lost the rings. They might be from Argos, and have only cost £5 (or €6.10) but the sentimental value is priceless. They come to the conclusion that they have been stole by Brian’s nutty ex-girlfriend Sandra. The pair sing about the crazy things she used to do — “She is Mental”.
Things keep getting worse as Sharon discovers that her mum is not coming to the wedding. She confides in her bridesmaids and asks for her dad, only to find that he’s too drunk to walk her down the aisle as planned. He laments his marriage to his ex-wife and drunkenly wails all the things she took from him from his car, to his money and even his dignity.In a dank and dingy pub somewhere Brian speaks to a seedy man hoping to find someone to ‘take care of’ Sandra. The man, a season hit-man, agrees to take on the easy job but Brian is keen to let him know it’s not quite as easy as it seems as Sandra has “Crazy Eyes”.
The mysterious, unnamed hit-man arrives at Sandra’s house but she is suspicious and immediately asks if he’s there to kill her. Thinking on his feet he replies “I don’t like to lie… but no.” Sandra lets him in to her house where is greeted by her cross bred pets: a pigeon-bat and a holiday-camp-guy-werewolf. Preferring to settle issues with crazy people using his words the hit-man convinces Sandra to give up the wedding rings on the condition that she can go to the wedding and take the hit-man as her date.
With the rings in hand Brian stands at the alter as the loud and evangelical priest welcomes the congregation. In an attempt to encourage him, the best man pushes Brian jovially. This in turn is followed by a harder push, then a shove, an arm punch, and a slapped face until eventually the two men are wrestling each other to the floor. This moment of madness put to one side Sharon walks in, with her now sober(ish) father by her side and is overjoyed to see her mother sitting in the front row. Brian and Sharon stand holding hands and sing their haphazard vows to one another. Happily married, the last lines of this final song are “If there is one message I want to make, it’s that this day has been no mother-f***ing mistake”.
|16 May, 2014||Wokingham Fringe Festival||Can It!
A beautiful moral tale, set in a recycling centre. All about friendships, intelligence and a beached dolphin named Ruth.
|3 May, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Frozen
Set in an Iceland supermarket, and including a romp in the deep freeze.
|5 April, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Have it Large!
A holiday rep at Club 18-30 is having difficulty coping with the hedonism.
Tonight’s show at The Miller was entitled ‘Have it Large!’ and was set in a Club 18-30’s resort in Lesbos.
Tony and Sophie are a pair of newbie holiday reps in the early stages of their relationship. Sophie is struggling to deal with the hedonism of the resort as her vicar “Father Wouldn’t Like It”.
Meanwhile, in the adjacent resort for wholesome 18-30 year olds – a father is about to leave his daughter (Sharon) for the first time. She shows little interest in spiritual nourishment and is hypnotised instead by the call of the 18-30’s niteclub across the beach. “Come Inside Us and We’ll Come Inside You”.Back at the resort Head Rep Dave the Rave is quizzing Tony on his relationship status and advises him against exclusive commitment. Urging him instead to “Use Your Perversion to Book an Excursion”.Tony manages to persuade Sharon to book various excursions after seducing her. They go on a trip aboard “Tony’s Fun Bus”.
By the end of their journey the gang are feeling tired of the non stop hedonism of the resort and discuss what the future holds for them, after the season ends. Dave the Rave interrupts and insists there’s no time for navel contemplation on a Club 18-30’s holiday and that they should all instead “Have it Large, Like Nigel Farage”.
|28 Mar, 2014||Tristan Bates Theatre, Covent Garden||Long, Hard and Full of Seamen
The HMS Seagull has been drifting for ten years. Strange things happen between people when they’ve been stuck together for ten years.
Aboard the Submarine HMS Seagull, Captain Timbers is in love with his first mate Denise but she sees him as a father figure. They sing, “Will you Adopt Me?”
David, the ship’s Health and Safety officer is in his office. He is concerned about the expired safety certificates as the ship is carrying a large quantity of uranium. David’s colleague enters his office to try and calm him down. They discuss their friendship and David sings “I love you (but not in a gay way)”.
Meanwhile in the galley the ship’s cleaner / nuns Esmerelda and Francine are busy clearing up discarded Fish Fingers. They bemoan their lowly status and sing about how their lives would be better if they were scientists “If I had a Lab Coat”.
Back in Denise’s cabin Captain Timbers is drying and applying talcum powder to his newly adopted daughter’s body. Sister Esmerelda comes in to return his freshly pressed underpants, which gives Denise an idea. She arranges a date between the Captain and the nun.
Over in the cleaner’s quarters Francine is beautifying her sister Esmerelda, readying her for her date with the Captain. Once she has covered up all her boils, pustules and warts, Francine offers her sister some sage advice from their time in the convent. “Don’t Use a Condom or a Dutch Hat”.An hour later Captain Timbers and Sister Esmerelda are sat having dinner. The date begins awkwardly but after a while they begin to flirt. They wonder what life is like above sea level as the submarine has been submerged for 10 years, a broken rudder meaning it can never again rise to the surface. The pair are about to kiss when the ship’s Emergency Alarm sounds.
The diners all dissipate and the Captain runs to his quarters to rescue Denise. Their eyes lock. Rendered speechless. Denise’s Heart begins to sing her true feelings, which triggers a similar reaction in the Captain’s trousers. A duet follows between ticker and dick(er) “Long, Hard and Full of Seamen”. H&S Officer David interrupts before they consummate their love to announce the news that the Submarine has finally reached the surface. The crew are now free to pursue their dreams on shore.
|28 Feb, 2014||The Nursery, Southwark||It’s Not Costa Rica
Simon visits a coral reef in a swimming pool in a leisure centre in Bracknell but unfortunately he can’t swim. After an encounter with a depressed lifeguard he sinks to the bottom of the pool to find Terrance, a man who was lost in the pool many years before.
|14 Feb, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||You’re My Welsh Cake
Love between the English and the Welsh, in a North Wales caravan park.
A North Wales car van park is owned by Daffyd Jones and his son Hugh. They are preparing one of their static homes for a new guest. Whilst cleaning the toilet, Daffyd and Hugh sing about the women they have loved and lost: “I can’t get these skid marks off my heart”.
Meanwhile in a Buckinghamshire castle Gareth and his new bride Heather are playing swing ball and getting to know each other. Gareth suggests they take a holiday in Wales so he can learn more about Heather’s homeland.
He then gets a call from his sister (also called Heather) who is dreadfully unhappy as she is missing her ex lover Daffyd Jones. Under duress her brother invites her to join them on their holiday.Once they arrive at the park they are given a frosty reception by the Jones family. Gareth (despite having a welsh name) smells and sounds like he is from the wrong side of the Severn Bridge thus contravening the park’s strict no English holidaymaker policy.However thanks to the world’s rarest Gold Club biscuit, some singing beef Monster Munch and a wagon wheel, Daffyd welcomes Gareth into the fold.
Daffyd is soon reunited with Heather and their love is rekindled when she rides him like a horse. Gareth decides to share Heather with Hugh and they all sing “I love you my Welsh Cake”.
|25 Jan, 2014||The Miller, London Bridge||Make it Yourself, Silly Billy
Our heroes decide to live in IKEA. After all, it’s got a living room, a kitchen, and a bathroom. What they don’t expect, is for the Nativity Scene to come to life.
|19 Jan, 2014||The Islington, Islington||I Left My Heart In Row E
At the local cinema, a work experience boy gets promoted and amazingly becomes CEO in quick succession. Meanwhile, a local couple find that the only place they can enjoy their relationship, is in row 39.
|10 Jan, 2014||The Union Theatre, Southwark||Frostbite
At Everest base camp, we find love, exploration, and zombie snowmen.
|9 Dec, 2013||The King’s Stores, Aldgate||A newly engaged couple find a nice remote hotel to spend the weekend at. They don’t expect it to be full of ghosts, and supernatural animals. It’s rather disconcerting. But in the end, everyone became friends and the couple now had a family.|
|26 Nov 2013||Yada Yada K, Camden||Don’t Hurt Your Thumb
This rather unwholesome show featured a whole host of characters including an old lady called Doreen, a man eating Iguana called Petunia, Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton.
|9 Nov 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Love in Torquay
Gerard the vicar is about to marry Delphina, when he finds out she has been unfaithful with Gerard’s father and borne a child, Derek, his half brother. Consumed with shock and rage Gerard walked into the sea, suicide seeming his only option. He is moments away from asphyxiation when a series of aquatic creatures persuade him to swim back to the surface and forgive his lover.
|31 Oct 2013||Etcetra Theatre (London Horror Fest)||Wagamama
Two friends fall out while roller skating, and end up having a roller dance-off to the death.
|30 Oct 2013||Etcetra Theatre (London Horror Fest)||Bark
A mother buys a pet, Fernando, from the pet shop. Fernando proceeds to devour her husband, but she doesn’t mind. A beautiful relationship ensues, though the son is not too sure.
|26 Oct 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||A young man has dreams to be a stand-up comedian, but is told by his headmaster that the only way to achieve his dream, and fame, is to kill his father, live on Twitter. Featuring a special appearance by Michael McIntyre.|
|8 Oct 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||We discovered that if only the animals of the world could talk, they could teach us all how to love a little better.|
|28 Sep 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Twilight
World weary Vincent van Gogh was inspired by a voice in his belly and an evil wizard to paint some of his most complex and compelling works. The show concluded with the rousing chorus of ‘Ear, Ear, Just Say Cheers’.
|14 Sep 2013||The Rag Factory, Whitechapel||It’s London Fashion Week, and an army of robot models are putting humans out of work. Featuring the song, “My dog Pickles”.|
|29 Aug 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Oh That’s Nice
Jeremy, a Cornishman in Sweden, leaves his dad’s lighthouse to follow his dream and be a ship’s captain, but is forced to return to avenge his mother’s death when he discovers she was killed by his grandmother. Along the way he meets an efficiency-obsessed Swede and a tiny-nippled merman.
|20 Jul 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Kebab Shop
Kebab shop owner Gary is in love with Satan’s girlfriend Susan, after a dark turn can he win her over?
|18 Jul 2013||Reading Festival Fringe||The Magic Roundabout
Beneath Swindon’s famous magic roundabout is a wizard, who with his assistant likes to occasionally magic up traffic jams and car crashes. One day, the battery in his magic wand fails, necessitating a trip to the local Poundland. He then meets a long-dead shop assistant, and it’s clear that in Swindon there is more than meets the eye…
|9 Jul 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Starbucks
Set in a urinal wonderland (at the audience’s behest).
|15 Jun 2013||The Nursery (Slapdash festival)||The Gods have fallen and become human–and live in the sewers. How will things become right again? Only by bringing everyone together as one.|
|11 Jun 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Set near a Black Hole, tonight’s Music Box investigated whether beauty and brains can co-exist. How can a (slightly stupid) neuroscientists become intelligent? Maybe Stephen Hawking is nearby. Lyric of the night: “192+192=384”.|
|26 May 2013||Secret Garden, Cecil Sharp House||
Dave the chef gets his own TV cookery show. Mediocrity is the new awesome.
|21 May 2013||The Miller, London Bridge|
|27 Apr 2013||The Phoenix Artist Club, London||A small furniture shop responds to the opening of an IKEA across the road.|
|16 Apr 2013||The Miller, London Bridge|
|13 Apr 2013||The Miller, London Bridge|
|10 Apr 2013||Temple Bar, Brighton||Death Row
For ten years, Sheila and Derek have only seen each other through glass, not able to touch. A heartrending show. Featuring the hit song, ‘No one wants to go out with someone who can’t get the attention of a waiter.’
|2 Mar 2013||Lion and the Unicorn (ImproFest)||A worker in an egg-packing factory has dreams to pack a better kind of egg—a Fabergé egg.|
|26 Feb 2013||The Miller, London Bridge|
|12 Feb 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Edna the ancient showgirl dreams of being a Prima Ballerina.|
|29 Jan 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||Sex
Sandy, the ‘happy hooker’, finds love and a new life with a client.
|17 Jan 2013||Priory Arms, Stockwell|
|15 Jan 2013||The Miller, London Bridge||A story of boy who dies, and falls in love from Heaven. How will he get together with his earthly object of affection? He has to beat the devil, amongst other things.|
|20 Dec 2012||The Miller, London Bridge|
|16 Dec 2012||Old Red Lion Theatre, Islington||Scales
A retired couple travel to Stornaway, Scotland for a relaxing break. They don’t realise the evil that lurks within the innocent-looking Bed and Breakfast. Featuring the song, “You will never amount to anything”.
|11 Dec 2012||Etcetra Theatre, Camden||The Music Box Pantomime
Set in a Hilton Hotel, this was the story of a pole vaulter’s dream. With tasteless Boyzone jokes.
|6 Dec 2012||Bar Lenuccia, Kennington||The Music Box Pantomime
|20 Nov 2012||The Miller, London Bridge|
|30 Oct 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||You never know who you’ll meet on the tube. For our hero tonight, it was a mouse scientist. Featuring the songs “Strangers on the Tube”, and “Mind the gap”.|
|16 Oct 2012||The Miller, London Bridge|
|9 Oct 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Bob
Set in creepy Gotham City. A love story where Graham Penguin finally left his underground cave, met freak-loving Julia and fell in love. Then got married by the power of an umbrella. Aww.
|20 Sep 2012||Balham Bowls Club, Balham||A musical set in a sweat shop.|
|18 Sep 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Riot!
Martin White is an agoraphobic who has never left his house. He is having yet another unsuccessful date in his living room. What they need is a saviour, who comes in the form of the local chip shop owner.
It started off in the home of our audience member Martin White’s house on Broomhall Road in Croydon.Martin (Simon) White is an agoraphobic who has never left his house. He is having yet another unsuccessful date in his living room. We soon learn of his Stockholm Syndrome-esque relationship with his television which speaks to him and tells him not to venture into the outside world.
Meanwhile Tyrone the local tramp and Melody the local escort dream of a Croydon free of poverty and suffering. What they need is a saviour.
The saviour is far from the mind of the local vicar and his parishioner – chip shop owner Darnell – who plot several ways to extort and steal money from the townsfolk of Croydon “In the name of the Lord”.Back at Martin’s house things are going unusually well with Stephanie. The chemistry builds and Martin sings “I want to touch her hair” but he is lured by the voice inside the television to make love to it instead. Stephanie leaves distraught and disturbed at the sight of her potential suitor gyrating against the 52″ plasma.
Tyrone confides in Melody about his unpleasant trip to the soup kitchen where the vicar handed him a knife and demanded that he stab five people before he could have his Pret A Manger Pistachio and Tomato Soup. Moments before the shanking occurs, Darnell the chip shop owner reveals that he is in fact Beelzebub. He uses his powers to force Reverend Johnson, Melody and Tyrone to start a riot on Broomhall Road. Martin hears the screams of Stephanie amid the sounds of Molotov cocktails, smashing glass and Messerschmittz. He goes to rescue her from atop a giant elm tree where Satan has captured her against her will.
Martin begins to display Messiah like capabilities like walking on air, healing sexually transmitted diseases and turning whitebait into fish platters. The dark overlord flees and is transformed back into Darnell the chip shop owner. They sing a song about fiddlesticks.
|4 Sep 2012||7 on Red, Covent Garden||Jesus vs the Dinosaurs
An Olympic-themed show, but not the Olympics in London.
|7 Aug 2012||7 on Red, Covent Garden|
|5 Aug 2012||The Shaw Theatre, Euston||A musical set in an STD clinic.|
|5 Aug 2012||The Shaw Theatre, Euston|
|2 Aug 2012||The Shaw Theatre, Euston||Backdoor to the Piano Planet
Commander of the Death Star, Darth Vader’s father ‘Kitten Maul’, is concerned that his son is too polite and not evil enough. He instructs Darth to destroy all of the Musical Planets in the galaxy.
In a galaxy far far away, Jeremy a junior death ray operative dreams that one day he will be commander of the Death Star. His colleague Brian reveals a secret (shown in flashback) that he was trained as a Jedi by Obi Wan Kenobi, Yoda and Chewbacca. Brian offers to train Jeremy so he can fulfil his destiny.
Meanwhile commander of the Death Star – Darth Vader’s father ‘Kitten Maul’ is concerned that his son is too polite and not evil enough. He instructs Darth to destroy all of the Musical Planets in the galaxy because he cannot bear music because of his tinnitus.Meanwhile on Piano Planet Jenny and Sarah are oblivious to their planet’s impending doom. Jenny is a laughing stock as she cannot play the piano but she reveals her secret and forbidden passion for banjo playing.Maul discovers Brian and Darth Vader in a passionate trist, being an evil overlord he is naturally homophobic and warns his son in song ‘Don’t use the Backdoor’.
The Death Star makes an emergency landing on the Piano Planet where Jeremy paired his Jedi mind powers with Jenny’s banjo playing to defeat Maul with music so powerful the tinnitus caused his brain to implode. Jeremy and Jenny and Darth and Brian lived in peace and musical harmony happily ever after.(For your chance to give us some more mental suggestions then why not come to one of our shows at The Shaw Theatre tomorrow at 3pm and 8pm, link to tickets below).
|2 Aug 2012||The Shaw Theatre, Euston||Pajamas
A search for the perfect man in the Amazonian rainforest proves fruitful.
Two plucky girls on their gap-year searched for the fabled perfect man who is alleged to live in a pyramid, deep within the forest.With the help of a three headed Anaconda and Margaret Thatcher’s lady garden they undertook several Herculean tasks such as tackling a pit of Micro Machines and a field of sarcastic barbed wire.
Meanwhile Stephen—the world’s most perfect man (genetically engineered out of a goat)—dreams one day he will meet a woman and not have to cuddle his creator/lover/father/brother Hubert at night any more.The pair eventually meet and it is love at first sight but they are kidnapped by Dr Spunkenstein Stephen’s evil step brother. They escape using a vial of holy water given to them by Maggie Thatcher.
Having never met a woman before, Stephen struggles to find the right compliments pulling them all from his only point of reference ‘Delia Smith’s How to Cook’. Lucy looks unsure when he sings he’d like to cream her like some leaks and braise her like a cabbage but the pair find common ground in the audience suggested song ‘Close your mouth when you chew’.
|29 Jul 2012||The Wilmington Arms, Clerkenwell||Tides of Lust
Dave, a near retirement crayon factory worker, found his first true love in a visiting artist. When it comes to choosing between the love of your job and the love of your life, the decision is easy; The ‘tide of lust’ always wins.
|24 Jul 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Do You Want Ice With That?
Set in a Wetherspoons pub “Minge on the Floss”, this show featured a young barman named Freddie who dreamed of becoming a Nuclear physicist.
With the help of the enthusiastic Wetherspoons newsboy and two local drunks (Trevor and Nigel), Freddie made his way to the Large Hadron Collider in Switzerland.During his interview he was angrily dismissed by the scientists for being too ordinary (he had Wetherspoons on his CV) and consequently thrown into the Hadron Collider. Whilst inside he met an electron, a proton and a neutron who sang a reggae song to him about making love not war.
With the advice he had gleaned from the subatomic particles Freddie combined his scientific nouse with his mojo and became physicist in chief.
They re-located the Large Hadron Collider to the back of the Wetherspoons so the scientists could maintain a better work/life balance and closed with the rousing audience suggestion song ‘Don’t Get Pissed’.
|10 Jul 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Pay as you go
Shelley-Anne is fed up with life in the Wisconsin brothel and has always wanted to be a teacher, but with debts up to her eyeballs, and a checkered past, does she really have what it takes to make it to the classroom? Featuring the song, “Look both ways”.
|27 Jun 2012||The Selkirk, Tooting||World’s End
We followed the plight of the last 2 people on earth, Danny and his girlfriend, trying to procreate in a nuclear bunker under a petrol station with zombies trying to stop them at every turn.
|26 Jun 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Keeping Afloat
Featuring the song, ‘Dig Deep’.
|12 Jun 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Brains In Love
Set in MENSA featuring a song about the evolution of hoovers, a rousing group number about various cheeses, two characters called Clive and one called Cedric (who had a scalp made of bum skin and whose cadaver provided the perfect picnic blanket), a humourless human hoover with time travel capabilities, a cameo from the Yorkshire Ripper and a life saving can of Tango. Featuring the line, “You can’t have a buffet if there’s a corpse underneath”.
|3 Jun 2012||The Round House, Camden (Accidental Festival)||Set in a Poundland garden centre, featuring the song “Don’t touch the cacti”. Which is sound advice.|
|29 May 2012||7 on Red, The Seven Dials Club||Don’t feed the dinosaurs
Set in a space-based Jurassic Park, and featuring the song “Don’t drink”.
|22 May 2012||The Miller, London Bridge|
|21 May 2012||The Union, Marylebone||Set in a psychiatric hospital.|
|3 May 2012||Balham Bowls Club, Balham||Ken Livingstone’s Dream
Barack Obama (in partnership with an evil brothel owner) wants to buy Leicester. Boris Johnson, who was standing for mayor of the city, saves the day with a rousing song “Leicester, you’re the bester”. Featuring Boris Bikes.
|1 May 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Drive Your Own Car
Set in Legoland, and featuring the song “Don’t talk to strangers”.
|21 Apr 2012||Three and Ten, Brighton||Set in Lakeland Plastics. The managing director is a blood sucking vampire, who owns Jimmy Savile’s ‘special chair’.|
|12 Apr 2012||The Horse, Waterloo||Inception
Set in a McDonalds restaurant in Disneyland, including the audience-suggested song “Always wear clean knickers”.
|20 Mar 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Why Make It Easy?
Set in the headquarters of Tesco Online, with the hit song “iPads for £50”. Featuring the line, “I’m a strawberry sock. I’m the replacement for the strawberry jam that you should have got.”
|7 Mar 2012||The Lion and Unicorn, Kentish Town||Buttons
Set in a Blackpool Nandos, where a mother and daughter are driven apart by body ‘curves’. Featuring the line, “I’m so fat I sweat on the inside as well as the outside”.
|28 Feb 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||Psych Slippers
Set on a psychiatric ward. Where male nurses defended their status and patients learnt there’s no place like home. Line of the evening—”Posh people have plenty of issues too but are just better at hiding them”.
|24 Jan 2012||The Miller, London Bridge||An epic sporting biopic about the lesser known Radcliffe sister running the first male and female sprint marathon at the London Olympics.|
|21 Jan 2012||Three and Ten, Brighton|
|20 Dec 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|17 Dec 2011||Upstairs at Three and Ten, Brighton||Yeti|
|15 Nov 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||An American gap year student in werewolf-inhabited Siberia.|
|18 Oct 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Two hobbits escape from Mordor and into reality. The characters travel too far through the story-reality vortex though, and emerge as Jules and Steve, London-based improvisers.|
|16 Oct 2011||Slug & Lettuce Waterloo||A show set on a rollercoaster in Margate.|
|20 Sep 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|10 Sep 2011||Three and Ten, Brighton|
|29 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Daylight Robbery
Two thieves steal a piggy bank from a local language school. All will be forgiven if they sign up to a twelve week course.
|28 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Sweet Nothings
An evil treacle factory owner has formed a dirty deal with a local dentist.
|27 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Meltdown
At the bottom of a sea on an exploration mission, and the air is running out.
|26 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Up
Above Pompei the mountain threatens doom, but down in the city they’ve more pressing Zombie issues. Answer: combine problems.
|25 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Fly a Kite
The only way to cure ‘Fly a Kite’-syndrome is to hide out in a haunted castle and wait for the Pain Ghosts to come. Ouch.
|24 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Bonkers
All this fighting with the French is ridiculous, and it’s ono because there’s a lack of coffee in the kingdom. All hail the new queen.
Dinosaurs With opposable thumbs!
|23 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Locusts
In St George’s Hospital, drunk patients swarm into A&E like locusts, but even a casualty department with a bar can host a lovematch.
|22 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Derek
Derek dreams of being a pilot for RyanAir, but back home in Ireland, a love tryst hold his father’s meat-sweeping job to ransom.
|21 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Siberia
A volcano seems like the perfect place for a new restaurant. Only a clause in some small print can stop Ronald McDonald.
|20 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Bounce!
In ancient Egypt the Emu-face god is awoken to reap havoc. He can be defeated, with just one wipe of a kitchen towel.
|19 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||UM….
The United Moron Army are trapped in a bunker after the apocalypse. Above ground, two zombies hunt for bagels.
|18 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||The Mars Bar
A homesick space station captain is helped home by bad character actors and an inept evil mastermind.
|17 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Atlantis etc.
When an undersea kingdom is throated by an ancient prophecy, only Kara the Barnacle and a dancing crab can help.
|16 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Ghost Train
Four little girls sneak into a carnival. One is bitten by vampires, two are protected by The Elephant of Truth. The vampire runs.
|14 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||When the Romans invade the barbaric country of Breton, the poor diet of the savages is easily improved by a bowl of Coco Pops.|
|13 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Crumbs and Crackers
A mischievous plan to topple the McVities biscuit empire fails, when it turns out that Hawaiians love spider flavour.
|12 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Sunk!
As the last pirate lies dying on the decks of the Black Ghost, Semolina the cleaning girl has ideas of peace and harmony.
|11 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Deranged
A father is reunited with his lost wife after she realises her new love is an idiot. On a ghost train.
|10 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Fish
A fish’n’chip shop owner’s livelihood is throated by a bad safety inspection, but the vermin unite to help.
|9 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Avalanche
When nature-hating Americans threaten a peaceful mountain community, the mountains themselves fight back.
|8 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Over the Moon
An all-female space file to find alien boyfriends goes wrong when some cross dressing Russian cosmonauts arrive
|7 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Circus!
A bearded lady runs away from the circus to find herself, and finds love in the arms of her estranged family
|6 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Mr Whippy
This show began in a mixing bowl and discovered the essence of humanity. Admittedly, quite an odd one.
|5 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Stone Dead
A tale of a demon gravedigger and loving father, desperate to protect his daughter from his ghoulish secret.
|4 Aug 2011||Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Pins
A musical about an elderly bowling alley attendant.
|3 Aug 2011||C venues, Edinburgh Festival Fringe||Lather the Musical
Set in a car wash and featuring the song “Couldn’t Fit Quicker than a Kwik Fit Fitter”. A rich banker has a love of red Fiat Puntos and a girl who works in the car wash.
|29 Jul 2011||London Zoo|
|26 Jul 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|23 Jul 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|22 Jul 2011||London Zoo|
|15 Jul 2011||London Zoo|
|12 Jul 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Pants
Featuring the line, “My boyfriend be a w*nker, but at least I know what he is”.
|9 Jul 2011||Three and Ten, Brighton|
|8 Jul 2011||London Zoo|
|1 Jul 2011||London Zoo||Highlights included David Cameron singing a song about “Being a Dick”.|
|28 Jun 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|24 Jun 2011||London Zoo|
|22 Jun 2011||Reading Fringe||Codpiece
Featuring the songs “Arsehole”, and “Come into my bathroom”.
|17 Jun 2011||London Zoo|
|14 Jun 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|10 Jun 2011||London Zoo|
|8 Jun 2011||The Cockpit Theatre||Set in Apple’s headquarters in California, we develop an app to help you get a date with a chicken.|
|7 Jun 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|3 Jun 2011||London Zoo|
|31 May 2011||The Miller, London Bridge|
|17 May 2011||Upstairs at Three and Ten, Brighton Fringe||The Ice Cream Man
Two asylum care staff travel around South London in pursuit of escaped psychiatric patients.
|7 May 2011||Upstairs at Three and Ten, Brighton Fringe||The story of Hans Ham, a good-looking Swedish aquarium owner with a dream. And the fish that helped with mime.|
|3 May 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Choo Choo Baba (we think!)
Set aboard the Orient Express, including a scene downstairs…
|27 April 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Set in an Arabic bazaar, featuring an evil Sultan.|
|19 April 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Storm Sauna
Rival sauna owners Simon and Stephen fight to be the best solarium in Swindon. But Stephen is foiled when a man in a giant bunny outfit almost dies in his faulty sauna.
|12 Apr 2011||The Horse, Waterloo|
|5 Apr 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Airship
Featuring the song, “What goes up, must come down”.
|30 March 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Howl!
A love story between a sixth former and her werewolf boyfriend.
|15 Mar 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Squidgy!|
|2 Mar 2011||The Headmaster of a Steiner School defies the Steiner code of practice, and introduces capital punishment.|
|15 Feb 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Aye Carumba!
Set in a Brazilian graveyard.
|2 Feb 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||Aubergine
A show including an aubergine dream with a fat kitten, and vomited Victorian over songs of snow.
|18 Jan 2011||The Miller, London Bridge||There is an epidemic of trains committing suicide on the London Underground.|
|28 Nov 2010||The New Diorama, Euston||Lovejoy
Set in an art school, featuring the song “Bang and the dirt is gone, bang and the hurt is gone”.
|19 Oct 2010||The Miller, London Bridge||Shoelace
Set in a hospice, and featuring the song “They Have Cows On The Moon”.
|13 Sep 2010||The Troubadour, Earl’s Court||Courgette
Set in a hair salon, apprentice hairdresser Jet has to look into her core to give the haircut of her life and defeat the villains Toni and Guy in the National Haircut Championship.
|27 July 2010||The Troubadour, Earl’s Court||Tardis!
Set in a toy factory in Wales. Factory worker Gethin invents a new version of Buckaroo using a real donkey. But Doctor Spunkenstein and his henchman The Bean try and destroy the factory and all of mankind.
|22 July 2010||Old Vic Tunnels (Slapdash)||A musical set in IKEA (the first of many). The store manager is the true villain.|
|1 May 2011||Wild Heart Gathering||A musical set in the desert. Featuring Jamie Oliver, camels and cooking.|
|20 April 2010||The Black Horse, Rathbone Place||Pirates Don’t Wear Pants!
Our first ever show. On a desert island, Herbert tries to win the heart of Captain Tuna’s daughter. In a rousing musical number, the Captain drops his trousers and sings with Herbert, “If you want to be a sailor sailing the seven seas / you’ve got to let your scrotum hang free / Pirates Don’t Wear Pants!”
We think we’ve got all the shows in 2010, but we’re not sure.